In my last post I mentioned a death in my family and said "more on that later". Well, I guess this is later, huh?
My 34 year old cousin, Christy (above), committed suicide. It was, as they usually are it seems, a COMPLETE shock. She seemed to be doing so well. After a rough couple years, she seemed to be getting it all together. She had a teenage daughter and 2 year old son who she loved very much, a sweet fiance, great parents, was about to open her own salon. It was just not something anyone saw coming.
I have to admit, when I heard, I was shocked and deeply saddened, but we hadn't been close in years. It didn't completely hit me until I got down there and saw my uncle-her dad, then I looked at her daughter and I just bawled. I started remembering playing together when we were little and all the things she taught me. She was only 3 years older than I am. I can not imagine leaving my children, my family. I've been majorly depressed at times. Even recently. I just can't imagine it being so bad that you would end your life. Especially at 34! My heat absolutely breaks for her children. No amount of family can take the place of a mother.
So, when I got home, I vowed to spend more quality time with my baby. I realized that this is time I won't get back, there will be no do-overs and all those days that I just sit her down with "entertain yourself" toys will haunt me when she's older. No tv show, facebook status or strangers blog that I read are as important as her giggles and grins, her hugs and kisses or her sweet little songs.
I need to get better at manging my time. I enjoy blogging, and want to get better at it. I just need to limit my internet usage! It's hard because I spend so much time online trying to promote Scentsy and build it up so that the income generated from that will afford Mike more time at home, and help us get debts paid off.
So, here's to trying to make time for ME while running a business, raising a 2 year old and keeping the mess to a minimum!!